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Sweep kitchen floor. Clean tub. Go to Kmart. Get one dollar in quarters.


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The phone rings. Kurt has disappeared into the bedroom, and Courtney goes to answer it. It is Dave Grohl, the drummer in Nirvana. The band has been on hiatus for a few months and Dave is calling from Washington, D.

The Optimist

She puts down the receiver. This may be true. She definitely relishes her position as Mrs. Kurt Cobain. It was one of her goals, not something she left up to fate. The couple first met eight or so years ago in Portland. By the time they met again, Kurt was a star and Courtney was much less casual in her approach. She realized that, when it comes to romance, aggressive behavior can be very appealing.

True love explained - Abraham Twerski

Courtney pursued him for months—got his number, called him, told interviewers that she had a crush on him. She even resorted to religion. Finally, she persuaded an eager-to-please prospective manager to give her tickets plane and concert to a Nirvana show in Chicago. That was in early October.

They were married in February. Initially, Kurt had his doubts. Reportedly, he had been too busy recording and then touring with Nirvana to focus much on romance. A lot of people mistake that shyness for a lack of confidence, but he does know his own mind. When Courtney showed up I think he was attracted to her flamboyance. She was very sexual and I think she just took him over. He went on TV and said she was the best fuck in the world. Still, there were problems.

I had to go out of my way to impress him. All this would be perfect, except for the drugs.

The Love Of Love And Love

Twenty different sources throughout the record industry maintain that the Cobains have been heavily into heroin. Earlier this year, Kurt told Rolling Stone that he was not taking heroin, but Courtney presents another, extremely disturbing picture. We got pills and then we went down to Alphabet City and Kurt wore a hat, I wore a hat, and we copped some dope.

Then we got high and went to S. After that, I did heroin for a couple of months. Kurt was throwing up on people in the cab. They were both out of it. Courtney has a long history with drugs. After their New York binge, it was suggested to Courtney that she have an abortion. She refused and, reportedly, had a battery of tests that indicated the fetus was fine. According to several sources, Courtney and Kurt went to separate detox hospitals in March.

Whether or not they are using now is not clear. She is definite about one thing: she wants the baby. And so does Kurt. In the living room is a painting he made using the sonogram of the fetus as a centerpiece. I can have a nanny. But it was a bad time to get pregnant and that appealed to me.

He looks upset. They are both silent a few minutes. Kurt looks so tired he seems to be asleep with his eyes open. Courtney suggests they go out to buy cigarettes. They are too busy shopping. Kurt is excited—this store, American Rag, which is huge and specializes in authentic vintage clothes mixed with clothes that are new but appear to be vintage, has an enormous collection of used jeans in very small sizes. He is making his way through the rack very, very slowly.

He wore bikinis. Just a tacky thing. She gets impatient and heads off to inspect a rack of dresses. She is very specific about style. Her hair and makeup remain consistent: white skin, red lips, blond hair with black roots.

To Those Who Have Left a Person with a Mental Illness

Courtney is extremely possessive about this style statement—she is currently in a war with her erstwhile friend Kat Bjelland because of a borrowed velvet dress. She even went after Kurt. That was the last straw. Because I put up with the lyric stealing. And I put up with her going to England first in a dress that I loaned her.

And so on.

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Letting Go of a Relationship That Doesn't Exist

Not surprisingly, she also has a few concerns about Madonna. Nevertheless, Courtney is very serious about her vendettas. They have an equalizing effect: by trashing the likes of Madonna she becomes, in some twisted way, her peer. Last night, I had a dream that I killed her. I was really happy. She is, instead, after a certain kind of acknowledgment. Courtney wants her power known, and aside from the fact that everyone is stealing from her, she feels one of her main obstacles in this quest is the whole beauty thing.

This delights her, and she takes her stack of dresses over to Kurt, who is still carefully looking at each pair of jeans. He seems in a trancelike state, and the salespeople, who all recognize him, keep their distance. Kurt continues to move through the rack in slow motion. As he stares out the window, a large van pulls up and a guy in full heavy-metal gear gets out. He is wearing a Nirvana T-shirt. Commercial success in the alternative world ruins your credibility, and Kurt is deeply concerned with staying true to his vision.

What are you going to do after that?


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  • This is ridiculous logic, but it is the conventional wisdom within the community. For instance, a girl was raped in Reno. Big Respect Fame. And that kind of fame can really mess with your head. Rather than, say, Paula Abdul fame.